Marin County, California Chapter
Alternate Meeting Site: San Francisco, California


Please scroll down to find the following:

The Compassionate Friends
Chapter Meetings in Marin County and San Francisco
The Compassionate Friends Credo
The Sibling Credo
The Origin of The Compassionate Friends
The Marin Children's Memorial
Candle Lighting in Memory of our Children -  December 14, 2008
         (see how to have your loved one included in slide show)
Other Bay Area Chapters
Other Bereavement Support Groups and Resources in the San Francisco Bay Area, California and Nationwide

Important Links:

Genesse Gentry interview with Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley

TCF Marin Newsletter:

TCF Marin November/December 2008 Newsletter
TCF Marin September/October 2008 Newsletter
TCF Marin July/August 2008 Newsletter
TCF Marin May/June 2008 Newsletter
TCF Marin March/April 2008 Newsletter
TCF Marin January/February 2008 Newsletter
TCF Marin November/December 2007 Newsletter
TCF Marin September/October 2007 Newsletter
TCF Marin July/August 2007 Newsletter
TCF Marin May/June 2007 Newsletter
Special Newsletter on Suicide

Other Links of Interest:

Love Gift Form (pdf)
The Compassionate Friends National Web Site
Bereavement Magazines and Publications



The Compassionate Friends

The Compassionate Friends is a national nonprofit, self-help support organization which offers friendship and understanding to families who are grieving the death of a child of any age, from any cause. There is no religious affiliation. There are no membership fees or dues, and all bereaved family members are welcome.

Chapter Meetings

The following is a schedule of the monthly meetings in Marin County and San Francisco:

The San Rafael monthly meetings are held the third Tuesday of each month at 7:30 p.m. in the Lucas Valley Community Church meeting/conference room, 2000 Las Gallinas (at Lucas Valley Rd.) in San Rafael.

Directions:  Exit 101 at Lucas Valley Rd. and go west. Turn right onto Las Gallinas and make and immediate right onto Ellen, then a right into the parking lot at the sign. As you drive in, the building is the one closest to the parking lot and we will have signs to guide you.

For more information about these meetings, please e-mail: gbgentry@aol.com or call 415-457-3123.

The Marin Adult Sibling Loss Meetings have been discontinuted until further notice.

The San Francisco meetings are held the second Wednesday of each month at 7:30 p.m. in the Community Meeting Room in the Taravel Police Station, 2345 24th Avenue (near Taravel & 24th).  For more information about the San Francisco meetings, please e-mail: cwhallum@sbcglobal.net.

The San Francisco Adult Sibling Loss meetings have been discontinued until further notice.  You may e-mail our sibling contacts at  eliseln@yahoo.com. or cfager@gmail.com


 


The Compassionate Friends Credo

We need not walk alone. We are The Compassionate Friends. We reach out to each other with love, with understanding and with hope. Our children have died at all ages and from many different causes, but our love for our children unites us. Your pain becomes my pain just as your hope becomes my hope. We come together from all walks of life, from many different circumstances. We are a unique family becuase we represent many races and creeds. We are young and we are old. Some of us are far along in our grief, but others still feel a grief so fresh and so intensely painful that we feel helpless and see no hope. Some of us have found our faith to be a source of strength; some of us are struggling to find answers. Some of us are angry, filled with guilt or in deep depression; others radiate an inner peace. But whatever pain we bring to this gathering of The Compassionate Friends, it is pain we will share just as we share with each other our love for our children. We are all seeking and struggling to build a future for ourselves, but we are committed to our building that future together as we reach out to each other in love and share the pain as well as joy, share the anger as well as the peace, share the faith as well as the doubts and help each other to grieve as well as to grow. We need not walk alone. We are The Compassionate Friends.


 


The Sibling Credo

We are the surviving siblings of The Compassionate Friends. We are brought together by the deaths of our brothers and sisters. Open your hearts to us, but have patience with us. Sometimes we will need the support of our friends. At other times, we need our families to be there. Sometimes we must walk alone, taking our memories with us, continuing to become the individuals we want to be. We cannot be our dead brother or sister; however, a special part of them lives on with us.

When our brothers and sisters died, our lives changed. We are living a life very different from what we envisioned, and we feel the responsibility to be strong even when we feel weak. Yet we can go on because we understand better than many others the value of family and the precious gift of life. Our goal is not to be the forgotten mourners that we sometimes are, but to walk together to face our tomorrows as surviving siblings of The Compassionate Friends.


 


Origin of The Compassionate Friends

The Compassionate Friends was founded in Coventry, England in 1969, following the deaths of two young boys, Billy Henderson and Kenneth Lawley, the previous spring. Billy and Kenneth had died just three days apart in the Coventry and Warwickshire Hospital where Rev. Simon Stephens was Assistant to the Chaplain. Simon mentioned Billy's death to Iris and Joe Lawley, and the Lawleys decided to send flowers to Billy's funeral. They signed the card simply, "Kenneth's parents," realizing that the Hendersons would know who they were.

Bill and Joan Henderson then invited the Lawleys over for tea, and an immediate bond was formed as the two couples spoke freely about their boys, sharing their memories and the dreams that had died with Billy and Kenneth. They continued to get together regularly, and young Rev. Stephens, then only 23, encouraged them to invite other newly bereaved parents to join them. In 1969 another grieving mother accepted their invitation to meet with Simon and the two couples. They decided to organize as a self-help group and actively begin reaching out to newly bereaved parents in their community. Because the word "compassionate" kept coming up, this new organization was called "The Society of the Compassionate Friends."

Simon became a chaplain in the British Royal Navy in the 70's. He was met by bereaved parents at ports around the world, and he helped them to develop their own chapters. TCF had become well-known through U.K. and U.S.A. editions of such magazines as Time and Good Housekeeping. Paula and Arnold Shamres of Florida read Simon's interview in Time Magazine and invited him to visit them in Florida and speak to bereaved parents there. He did, and the Shamres subsequently founded the first U.S. chapter in 1972. Word of the organization spread rapidly through interest generated by the Phil Donahue Show and the columns of Dear Abby and Ann Landers.

The Compassionate Friends was incorporated in the United States as a non-profit organization in 1978.

In 1989 The Compassionate Friends of Great Britain dedicated a plaque commemorating the founding of the organization, at the Coventry and Warwickshire Hospital where TCF had begun. The plaque was unveiled by their patron, Countess Mountbatten, herself a bereaved parent.

Then in November, 1994 Queen Elizabeth presented Iris Lawley with a medal, The Most Excellent Order of the British Empire, in recognition of her work on behalf of TCF.

There are now Compassionate Friends chapters in every state in the United States—almost 600 altogether—and hundreds of chapters in Canada, Great Britain and other countries throughout the world. In the United States, chapters are open to all bereaved siblings and other family members who are grieving the death of a child of any age, from any cause.



 

TCF National Website

Visit The Compassionate Friends National website at: http://www.compassionatefriends.org to find out about National and Regional gatherings of The Compassionate Friends, order from their Resource Catalog, find out about scheduled Chats and learn more about the organization.

The Children's Memorial

On October 23, 1999 our chapter dedicated a lovely area between the marsh and the bike path along Corte Madera Creek in Greenbrae as our Children's Memorial.  It is dedicated to ALL of Marin's children who have "gone too soon." At the time, two "names" boulders were dedicated to our children.  Since then, two more plaques have been added.  The dedication of the 4th and final plaque was held on October 8, 2005. 

To find the Children's Memorial, park on Bon Air Road in Greenbrae, next to the marsh across from Marin General Hospital.  Take the path across the marsh to Corte Madera Creek.  Turn right onto the walking path and walk less than 1/8 of a mile to the bench with the Compassionate Friends plaque, dedicated to all children who have gone too soon.  Head right on either side of the bench into the children's memorial.  Please honor our sanctuary, and our children, with your care.

Children's Memorial Plaques The Memorial Video and Other News
Loading the Boulders in Santa Rosa
and Delivery to Memorial Site -12/1/98
The Children's Memorial, February 2003
Preparing Boulders for Plaques The Children's Memorial, February 2004


December 2000 Candle Lighting 

 

 



. . . that their

      light may

 always shine.

December 2008 Candle Lighting

Last year's candle lighting ceremony was lovelier than ever.  Please mark this year's calendar for December 14, 2008 at 7:00 p.m. and plan to join us at Unity in Marin Chapel, 600 Palm Drive, Hamilton Center, Novato, CA.   Directions:  North or South on Hwy 101, take Nave Drive, Hamilton Exit - follow Nave Drive to Main Gate Road, turn into and continue to the center of Hamilton . . . Unity will be on your left.  There is ample parking on both sides of the center and across the street.

DVD of Children
We have found that having a slide show of our children, grandchildren, brothers and sisters is the perfect way to end the ceremony and we plan to make this a permanent part of our candle lighting ceremonies from now on.  If you would like your loved one included with the others this year, please mail a photo (no larger than 4x6) of your child/sibling/grandchild for the slide show along with a self-addressed, stamped return envelope to:

Digital Video Dimensions
attn: 2008 TCF DVD
273 Crest Rd.
Novato, CA 94945
You may also purchase a copy of the 2005, 2006 or 2007 DVD of our children by sending $20 and your return address to the above address.

DVD of Candle Lighting Ceremony
The Candle Lighting Ceremony is videotaped and turned into a DVD available for a $10 donation.  It is a lovely way to remember the event and to show our loved ones who could not attend what the candle lighting ceremony is all about.  In order to obtain a copy, please e-mail Diana deRegnier at: healing.spirit@comcast.net.

For further information, please e-mail:  gbgentry@aol.com or call (415) 457-3123.

Why we are gathering:
On the second Sunday in December, all over the world, in every time zone, everyone is invited to light a candle in honor of all the children who have died, that their light may always shine. As candles go out in one time zone, they are lit in the next, creating a wave of light that encircles the globe. This event occurs every year on the second Sunday in December. Here in Marin, we have found that lighting our candles together makes this tradition even more meaningful.  A message board at The Compassionate Friends national Web site also provides a place for families to share their thoughts and experiences as they light their candles. The TCF-Bereaved chat room will be open for real-time conversation throughout that day (at http://www.compassionatefriends.org).  Mark your calendars now!

Go to pictures of December 2000 Candle Lighting Ceremony



TCF Marin Newsletter

To read articles and poetry from our chapter's newsletters please check the links at the top of the page.

   

Other Bay Area Chapters

Alameda County Santa Clara County
Contra Costa County Solano County
Monterey Bay

  Other Bereavement Support Groups and Resources

In Marin County In Alameda County In Santa Clara County Nationwide
In San Francisco In Contra Costa County In Solano County
In Sonoma County In San Mateo County In California


 

 

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Website last updated September 13, 2008. 
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