Won't Quit!

I won't quit!
Strike me again, if you must.
Bludgeon me with your blunt phrases.
Slice my flesh with your sharp words.
I may go down for the count,
but I will surely rise up again
once I have recovered my composure.
I will not surrender!
Though my heart aches,
I will strengthen it with my resolve.
Frailty will not be my calling.

Though my soul cries out
with the pain of your bitterness,
I accept responsibility
for your deep-rooted resentments.
But only inasmuch as my actions,
misguided and unintentional,
have caused you such grief.

Never have I purposed a hurt,
but I can see where my failings
and inevitable inactions
have fostered your spite.
Yet will I try on.
I will bolster my spirit with deeds,
too little and too late as they may be,
for I cannot change you--
I can only change myself.
Perhaps that effort will suffice
to convince you of the depths of my love.

I know my words fall on deaf ears,
immured by the many years
of hearing and not seeing.
Maybe my actions will get your attention.
I shall not cease.
In this struggle I would first
lose my life or my mind
ere I will submit to the despair
that rages down upon me.

I shall be Don Quixote
to your Dulcinea...
or perhaps you are the windmill?
It does not matter,
for I love you and will commit myself
to resurrect what we once may never have had.

 

August 17, 2001